| up down all around |
[21 Aug 2004|01:40am] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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Today sucked..but tonight made up for it.
Here's how it went down.
me laura and kduff decide to go to the TH. we chill there for a little bit, then me n laura go pick up sarah.
She wanted to go to seven gables. so we call up travis and asked him where it was. They gave us shitty directions or something... so we ended up in eaton rapids.
I think the drive was scarier then seven gables. I can't really compare it..but maybe someday we'll make it out there..
anyways. Sarah gets a call back from ashley and we go pick her up. And we meet up with Travis, Zac, Nick and Nick at 711. Laura gets out, zac gets into lauras car. We go get gas. Zac drove 55 down a sidestreet, that was small and narrow. That kid is crazy. but pretty cool.
We end back up at 711, and just chill. Travis ends up coming with us.. and we drive really far into lansing.. singing to music at the top of our lungs. Us girls..not travis.
tonight was a lot of fun, more than it might sound.
I work at 9 tomorrow. 9-4. bitch. I'm going to be tired. but fuck it.
It was good to see Sarah again.. and to have Ashley hang with us. ohhh lifes good right now.
I'm happy..and this is awesome. <3<2<3<2<2
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| you never stop until my final breath is gone. |
[20 Aug 2004|05:36pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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Taking back sunday |
] |
Sarah made this. She's adorable. <3
A lot of stuff has been happening lately. But none that I'm willing to talk about.
I just leave myself open for people to step on. I'm sick of it. I'm trying to stop it.
Haven't really been up to much lately. Being hoed out, but thats kinda normal. I've been in my room a lot the past few days. I don't really mind. It's different.
I want to go to the mall today. But I don't know of anyone to go with. I want a new belt. But everyone has other plans.. or works. or is in pain. :-/ I'd take my brother.. but he'd want me to go buy him something.
So here I sit. Probably until 9, when laura gets outta work. Then me and her will probably go sit. or drive. or I don't even know. I haven't hung with her in a few days though.. so it'll be good.
I think I know why I update less and less. my updates are pointless.
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| take what you want from me.. |
[18 Aug 2004|04:56pm] |
my brains a mess. I can't function.
but I have amazing friends. Terrance and Robbie are amazing friends.
I hope laura had a good bday yesterday. I hope my presents made her happy :-)
today hasn't gone as planned.. at all. so I don't know what tonight's gonna look like.
I hope Che comes over with those cds.
I'm gonna go eat some food. Watch TV or something. Take my mind off of things.
fuckin' tote.
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| fuck.Not a "wah" nobody loves me post. |
[17 Aug 2004|12:04pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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outkast |
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Everything just seems to be fucking up all at once.
I wish I could just realize that everything will be okay in a few days. But right now, it's not okay. So it's just fucking up my thinking. I don't want to do anything. I rather lay in bed, and beat myself up over everything.
I'm not going to explain anything. I'm going to be as vague as I can.
This is more for me to get my thoughts out.
It feels like things are completely over. I think I ruined something good.
I hate manipulative whores. That want you to beleive that everyone thinks how you think, about everything. So since you think differently.. you're a bad person. Since you have an opinion, it's fucking wrong.
well fuck you. fuck you for making me think something completely wrong. and you trying to tell me whats right, when I do have my own thoughts.
fuck me for being such a horny girl. FUCK.
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[16 Aug 2004|03:28pm] |
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[15 Aug 2004|10:19pm] |
So remember o*kley? the guy that is friends with FOB and gave us directions from iowa to holt?
Well we had heather call him up while we were waiting in traffic. he didn't answer. we left a voicemail.
Laura talked to him at warped, and he said that he only has free nighttime and weekend minutes, so he didn't answer. But about 10:00 I got this phone call... FROM O*KLEY! It seriously made my night. Even though it wasn't from pete or patrick. It was from O*kley. and we're gonna talk, and be friends. I've decided.
This is how the conversation went::
he's like "do you know who this is?"
me "yeah.. wahts up!"
we talked about warped and everything, and how he's burnt and shit.and then he was like "which one were you?"
me " the driver"
him "the one i wanted to get with"
him" haha jk"
me "well i am newly single"
him "what? "
me "nothing..."
him "no, we went under an underpass I didn't hear you."
me " well i am newly single"
him"ive been newly single since 2 yrs old"
me "hahaha thats sad"
him "im sorry, idont mean to be rude or anything..."
my thought was "shit, he doesn't want me to talk to him anymore or anything"
him "but i forgot your name"
me "alysha"
him "how late are you going to be up?"
me "for quite awhile"
him "well i might call you later, and get your SN and stuff"
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[15 Aug 2004|07:54am] |
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:-)
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| fucking back button. |
[13 Aug 2004|07:48pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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yellowcard |
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Yesterday
+got home from work, dan was over. fixing my parents computer. we talked. he makes me happy.
+went to kevin judy's house with greg and robbie. I had a good time.
+got home, went to bed early.
Today
+worked 8-2 @ L&L
+It was my last day.
+got a card from Jenny + Holly. they're sweet.
+took out bins, and built them. haven't done that in about 6 months.
+jenny told me I could've had maybe half a week paid vacation.
+told bob, he's putting it into one of my paychecks. w00t.
+worked 3-7 @ baryames. slower than it was thursday.
+talked to che on the phone at work for like 30 min. it was good. as always
+came home..took a shower. I feel so good.
+going to get some wonton with my bro soon.
+going to a bonfire with robbie at 10:30
Other
+cleaning my room tomorrow
+lauras coming over to help when she gets outta work.
+hangin' with bill tomorrow night.
+hangin' with EP monday. Terrance.. you should join!
My back really hurts, and I want to sleep. But I don't think that'll be happening.
I have sat-monday off. I am so excited. I don't know what I'm gonna do with 2 maybe 3 days off a week.
good thing schools starting soon.
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| we drive tonight.. and you are by my side.. |
[10 Aug 2004|02:17pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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hellogoodbye |
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I was going to go visit my grandpa in the hospital this morning. But my dad didn't want me and my bro to go, because he didn't want us to see his reaction. So he didn't want us to see him cry.
Got to see Greg today. Picked him up, went to pick up a pizza at little ceasers, and came to my house and ate the whole thing. Then I took him home. It wasn't very long.. but it was really good to see him.
I work today at baryames. 3-7. I really don't want to work. I have to go to my great grandmas afterwards.. theres a big party over there or something for her 90th.
I'm definatly not staying for long. So if anyone wants to hang out.. call me!
Get me outta the 90th bday bash!
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| set it off.. set it off.. |
[09 Aug 2004|09:17pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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atreyu |
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My grandpa Ted has congestive heart faliure, and cancer.
He's been doing worse and worse.
His wife Debbie called us this morning. She was in hysterics.
Apparently the doctor told her to call all of her family,
and tell them to come visit him, if they wanted to.
We're going tomorrow at 10am.
I'm going to cry. I was crying talking to my mom about it.
Today half his heart stopped working.
He loved to laugh. He just loved everything. I haven't seen him since my open house.
And this is the way I have to see him next is in the hospital. He's been in the hospital for quite awhile.
I love him so much. He would always make people feel better.
He always smelt like beer and cigarrettes.
But for some reason, it was the right smell for him.
god.. I'm going to miss him. I hate how the only way we feel we need to see family,
is when its in the worst situations. :-(
p.s. my mom and bro are kickass. I <3 them. We had a good conversation.
Cam can still make me laugh like nobody else.
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| She is beautiful.. but she don't mean a thing to me.. |
[08 Aug 2004|01:22pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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Taking back sunday |
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I have this perfect image of the life I want. I have many details planned out in my head..how I want them to happen. I know what I want in life. relationship wise, school wise, friendship wise.
No matter what I do.. I seem to be going backwards. I feel like I'm getting somewhere with my life, then all of a sudden. I'm back to where I was. and I have to start all over again.
I must say I'm not use to not having someone. I know what I want. I know the type of guy I'm looking for. I know all these things.. But the tough part is trying to find someone who would even consider me as someone to date.I don't need anyone. I'm not really looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. But it doesn't hurt to look around. Other people have moved way faster than me.
I sometimes think if I change how I look. Go to a ton of shows, just be completely "punk rock" I will get all the guys... but then I realized I'm not going to change who I am. And the girls that are at shows that look like that are just fitting into a stereotype. Even though they're hot..I think I'll be fine not changing myself in order to get someone. I'm not that desperate.
I'm back to where I was a month ago. No matter who I'm with, or how much fun I'm having. I just can't seem to get happy. I'm definatly in a rut right now...this is the whole going backwards thing coming into effect.
I definatly need a big pick me up. Maybe working 3-9 will do the trick. :-(
I can't wait to leave L&L. I hate that place.
I want to call in really bad. But I see Sarah for 3 hours. It might just be worth it to go in. <3
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[07 Aug 2004|04:46pm] |
My brother and Mickey got the "cutest couple" award at bandcamp.
He finds this very cute. and makes him proud.
..It makes me smile :-)
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[07 Aug 2004|08:37am] |
Brand New reminds me of winter.
Fall Out boy reminds me of being happy. and laura.
hellogoodbye reminds me of greg.
8:45 reminds me of fucking work.
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| up up and away |
[06 Aug 2004|11:34pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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Outkast |
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+ worked today
+ went to the mall with eric
+ saw ashley..talked to ashley
+ layed around my house. hearing my drunk parents outside.with their drunk friends.
+ Called up Ashley. We hit up EL. Got ice cream. talked.
+ I'm pickin' up carly tomorrow nite, and goin to cafe latte, then the SOJ house.
..I'm kinda scared. I'm okay with new people. I love making new friends. But what if nobody likes me? I guess I can't really explain how I'm feeling about all of this..whatever. I'm just gonna let things happen..
I ended up at the mall talking to ashley, and her telling me come up to cafe latte tomorrow night for a reason. I just hope it's a good reason. :-)
I don't have a day off till next saturday & sunday.It's going to suck.
I'll probably make it a short night. I'm quite tired...and I have to work 9-4 tomorrow.
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| Some random thoughts.. It's all I have tonight. |
[05 Aug 2004|08:11pm] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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Taking back sunday |
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I'd love if something truely exciting happened to me. Something I wasn't expecting. But now its like I'm expecting it..cause I said something about it. But it wont happen, so I dont have too much to worry about.
I kinda miss havin' my bro come into my room at night.. and us having little talks. He said he doesn't care if we talk much, or anything...but I think he's just trying to be 'cool'. And it's not cool to like your sibling, at that age at least. He'll be back saturday though.
I love having my computer right next to my window..which faces holt rd. Cause I can see everyone who drives by. It passes the time. Sometimes I see exciting things.
I might go to a bonfire tonight. That is if Robbie calls me back and wants to go. It's with a bunch of kids I don't really know. But I've been talkin' to Bill Rivera online most of the day. He's a cool kid..
My great grandmas bday is tuesday...or around tuesday. She will be 90. I get to spend some time with the family tuesday after work. Whatever. They will ask me about my life..and I'll just go into broken record mode. Tell them what I've told everyone else.
I tryed calling. Of course he didn't pick up. WEIRD. I thought I'd try though..It would give me something exciting to do tonight. I wasn't expecting him to answer though. really... I wasnt...
KT said she has some hot guy friends up at CMU. Me and her are going to cruise around sometime next week. I really miss KT. We were such good friends. I definatly am going to go up there a lot. :-)
Warped Tours comin' up. FOB TBS MBR is going to be awesome. Whoever wants to go to that. Buy your tickets, and we can decide on the car situation once we know who's goin.
I'm going to eat a fudgsicle now. Watch some TV. Wait for a call. If no call.. I'll call it a night. and get on my PJ's...or I'll put them on now.
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| Crying gets you nowhere..except big puffy eyes. |
[05 Aug 2004|12:42pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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I hate having dreams where you are so happy. You have everything you want.
Then you wake up.. and realize you can never have what you dreamt.
It fucking sucks.
I'm going to get books today with laura. I wanted to go to the fair.. ride some rides. Maybe I'll see if eric and Peter wanna go. If not.. I'll probably just sit at home tonight.
But it's okay.. I don't really feel like doing much else. my moods kinda crappy right now.
...but thats life.
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| You should try saying no once in awhile oh once in awhile.. |
[04 Aug 2004|12:54pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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taking back sunday- I am Fred Astaire |
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I don't feel like myself right now.
The last 2 nights I've stayed at home after work. Sitting at my computer, watching TV. I don't really have anything to look forward to. But I was content just staying at home. I hope it doesn't keep up like this. Or maybe I could at least have company with me at my house. But I'm slowly learning how to make myself happy. Without anyone else around. It'll be a good acheivement once I've reached it.
Saddly I can't wait for school to start. It'll give me something to do. I'll be super busy, with school and work. But it'll keep my mind off of everything. I'm going to meet new people. and I'm going to be a good student. I just want it to start, so I can prove to myself that I can do well in school.
Anyone wanna go to the FOB TBS an MBR show in chicago Oct.2nd? Let me know..
I don't understand how people can get boyfriends so easily. It's like they're so beautiful that they're a complete guy magnent. I'm one of those girls who stand in the back, and watch the girls get the guys.
..I can handle that...for now.
I don't really know what..or how I'm feeling right now.
But I do know I don't want to go work at L&L tonight. 3-7. In the rainy mess.
I'm so glad I'm leaving there soon!!!
This is me wishing you into the worst situations.
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| I am Fred Astaire |
[03 Aug 2004|10:08pm] |
The website I was using to upload my pics is going down.
so I have to find another place to upload them.
:-/
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